As the rosy fingers of dawn stretched across the sky outside my window, I start to stir underneath my covers and think about my itinerary for this day. My hostess up until this time has been gracious with her time in accompanying me and showing the ‘lay-of-the-land’, driving me and here and there on occasion and ‘holding-my-hand’ through the tricky navigations of the Underground and those charming double decker buses. Today though I will be on my own for the first part as the real world has snatched her back and she must go to work this day. I believe after the aforementioned ‘tutelage’ I was given the preceding days, I can strike out on my own with a certain amount of confidence. Before I do that, I must address some corrections in a couple of the entries of previous blogs.

Kensington Palace is the official London home of Prince William and Kate Middleton, (among others) not Prince Andrew. They are officially titled the ‘Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’.

My meal at Harrods was Sea Bass and Samphire, rocket, remember we here in the states know rocket as arugula, and samphire, also known as ‘sea asparagus’, was the make-up of my side dish with the fish. I have no idea how my host remembered that. Well played. Right, now on with the day.

We meet at my hotel early and walk down to the nearest ‘Chube’ station. We jump on a train headed for the Thames river area near the Globe Theatre and go our separate ways on a bridge span over the Thames. I was headed to that stately dome known around the world as ‘St. Paul’s Cathedral’. It’s pretty amazing how the dome of St. Paul’s looks like our own Capitol dome in D.C. I stop to take a few pics of the outside of this grand structure and admire its form. Since its construction in the form we see now (completed back in 1711) and for all this time the church has withstood the bombings of WWII and financial hard times. It’s an Anglican Church also serving as the home to the Bishop of London. Many ceremonious events have been held here; the diamond jubilees of both Queen Victoria and Elizabeth II, the funerals of Nelson and Churchill and the wedding of Charles & Diana to name a few.

So with those reverent thoughts I venture inside. I snap a photo in the front and of the entrance way as I enter, but after paying the rather stiff admission, 17 pounds, (around $28 or so), I ask respectfully if photo taking is allowed inside. I’m informed politely ‘No’. Oh bugger. I shall have to rely on subtlety and subterfuge to snap a few but I must keep it on the down low. I see many ‘hall monitors’ walking and standing about on patrol and I would not invite being caught and receiving a possible expulsion and forfeiture of my ‘princely’ admission charge but not before what I would believe to be a thorough ‘dressing down’ by one of the monitors; Made all the more humiliating being given to me in terse condescending proper English. Oh possible the indignity.

So with my ‘official’ one photo of the entrance to the magnificent building I venture inside. I’ve been in a few churches around the world and some of repute too. The Duomo in Milan, Notre Dame in Paris, St. Vitus in Prague, St. Basil in Red Square and even church #1 for me, being brought up Catholic, commonly known as the St. Peter’s Basilica. Can’t forget Our Lady of Guadalupe Basilica in Mexico City, both of them; New and Old, and some of the many fine ones in the states and more I haven’t mentioned from around the world cuz’ I’m starting to realize I’ve been to a lot. I’m humbled to add St. Paul’s from London to this list.

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The wide nave that is ubiquitous to this kind of church with its great columns standing and its high arched ceilings is breathtaking. I go straight towards the area beneath its great dome and take a seat in the chairs set up for viewing and reflection. But not before I genuflected. Old habits die hard. I sat there a good 10 to 15 minutes just taking it all in and looking up every now and then. I did notice other people taking pictures with their cell phones, some being a bit obvious about it but I still preferred the more subtle manner of snapping one. I did manage one pointing up at the dome but not at the beautiful walls and adornments around me. Having just completed a multimillion pound renovation not too long ago, it showed. The golds gleamed and the colors were rich.

I went up the stairs towards the ‘Whispering Gallery’. From there I can look down to where I was sitting. I snapped some shots here too. After some more reverent ruminating I wanted to see London from the ‘Stone Gallery’. This is the space outside the dome and you can see all of London in a 360 degree view if you walked around the circumference of the dome. Here I was free to ‘snap-away’ with my phone and I did. London with all its history and desire to preserve as much of it as they can is a mash-up of old and new architecture that I think works quite well. It’s on good display from where I’m standing and it’s no wonder this city is a major attraction for tourists.

I descend to roam around the other parts of the nave, can’t go into the Apse or choir area cuz’ its restricted but I do take a gander at the various statues and monuments to Heroes and statesman of England’s past and read their plaques. I didn’t go down in the crypts where Lord Nelson is buried, I mean I should’ve gotten my money’s worth and done it but I felt satisfied by what the structure and the main interior had to offer. Pretty grand I’d have to say. Beauty like this is food for the soul. I exit the cathedral and take a few more photos of the exterior from street level. I’ve spent the better part of almost 2 hours here and I figure it’s time to be going.[mk_image_slideshow images=”6318,6338,6330,6327,6326,6325,6323,6322″ image_width=”1100″ image_height=”800″ effect=”fade” animation_speed=”700″ slideshow_speed=”7000″ pause_on_hover=”false” smooth_height=”true” direction_nav=”true”]

I walk down to the Thames and sit on a bench along the river walk here and I have a quick snack while looking at the bridge I’m near and watch the runners jog by. Made me kind of want to join in with them but I was not outfitted for it. I sat and serenely ate and observed. Lovely. With the Tower Bridge to my left and Big Ben to my right, although I couldn’t see it, I started off for Tower Bridge by way of the river walk.

Traveling on the road so much and being in hotels all that time, I have developed a few needs I look for in my temporary homes. I’m a simple fellow who desires but a few things to make my stay comfortable:

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Nice pillows – Feather preferably but as long as they’re not tired old flat things that have long outlasted their usefulness. At least two; one for my head and the other to prop up my arm as I sleep on my side. What can I say; I’m getting on in my years.

An air conditioner that has a fan option that stays on. Some units will stop after reaching a set temperature and come on intermittently thus you’ve got the fan sound or ‘white noise’ coming on then shutting off, coming on then shutting off. Some do it in excruciating random patterns that annoy me while lying in bed in a noiseless room. Others will only stay on if you put on fan setting then if it’s below freezing outside you just have to hunker down in the blankets provided and hope you don’t see your breath in the morning when you wake. Due to my ‘rock n’ roll’ level that I perform at, I always go to bed with a slight case of tinnitus so to offset the ‘ring’ in my ear I require the fan’s ‘white noise’ to cancel it out so I can sleep more soundly. (That is an odd choice of words, I know)

Good Shower head – This is such an asset for a hotel I believe. Some of its ancillary properties include steady water temp but you need to have good pressure too. The hotel I had in London by far had one of the best shower heads I’ve ever experienced. As I got into its modern layout with glass doors and neutral earth tone big tiles, I noticed at first that there was a ‘wand’ or hand held shower head. I refer to these as ‘Euro-showers’ due to the ubiquitous nature of them placed in hotels of all levels; be it stars or economic standing.

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So I step in and start to man the controls, adjust my water temperature and water starts shooting out the wand’s end. I do notice this third dial on top of the ‘hot and cold’ handles, so I turn it and ‘Whoosh!’ and sudden downpour is hitting me directly on the crown of my head and it’s unbelievably consistent in both density and warmth. This is AWESOME!!! I had failed to notice the round ‘Sunflower’ like shower head place right in the middle of the small rectangle space that is the shower in the room. Then I notice the temp-governor dial and I turn for more heat and it responds! I’m starting to consider turning this vacation in London to a ‘stay-cation’ in my London hotel. Plus the mirror in the ‘loo’ is one of those heated ones so when you get out of your shower there’s a clear no-fog square in the middle. I’m starting to see the reasoning behind the 4-star rating. Totally legit in my book. Soap dishes are always a welcome ditty as well so I’ll file that under 3a as things I want in hotel rooms. Now on to the trip.

Today my hostess is providing me a ride in her car up to the little hamlet of Stratford-Upon-Avon.
It’s a quiet little tourist town with a quaint little river bisecting its small center and charming canal boats that float down it. I’m interested in this locale because it’s also the birthplace of William Shakespeare. Born here and dying here, his shadow is long and far reaching. It’s Shakespeare’s insight into our humanity that intrigues me most as well as his command and cadence with the English language. On this gloomy day of overcast clouds and a bit of a biting wind adding to the chill we feel, we wander about Stratford window shopping and gazing at the ‘touristy’ trinkets and such being sold in the name of Shakespeare and his legacy.

We stroll down to the area where the canal boats dock and see a few waterfowl languishing around and in the pond. There’s a butterfly house that we venture in, a bit of an escape from the ‘All-things-Bill’ in the town and we find it lovely inside; what with the frigid temps outside and the tropical moistness for the butterflies, we’re pleasantly amused by the extremes. We then come upon this tree that stands in a park that people have knitted together patches and have set about sewing them together around and on the tree. With its trunk covered and most of the lower branches wrapped, the tree gives off this colorful painted appearance when seen from afar only to notice it’s not paint but fabric adorning it. Really cool I have to admit. I can’t exactly remember the cause or organization that’s behind this wonderful undertaking but I like it. I’ve just been informed the cause is called ‘A Remembrance Tree’, funny I couldn’t remember that.

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It’s getting close to traditional ‘Tea Time’ in England, 4 pm, so my hostess tells me we’re going to do a ‘Cream Tea’ today. Sounds yummy. Cream Tea is a pot of tea, duh, and two scones along with a portion of cream along with some jam, strawberry is given at this establishment. I choose the tea, Earl Grey, and after they present with our tray with everything on it, we ascend to a charming room upstairs. It’s a lovely time and we kind of review what we’ve seen today and start to talk about departure time to head back into the city. We both realize we haven’t seen much of anything ‘Shakespeare-like’ except for this birthplace and home and we comment wryly on how ‘touristy’ the town is set up but we both agree we’re not here when more activities towards the favorite son would be in full swing; namely the summertime. For now we drink the last of the Earl Grey and with it being so close to 5 pm now, the sun gone and sky growing darker and darker, we make our way back by bus to the parking lot her vehicle is parked at and we start our drive back to London town.

On the way back she puts in a Natalie Merchant cd, I’ve always liked her, even back in the early years when she was with 10,000 Maniacs, but I haven’t heard much of her solo stuff other than her radio hits. They are pleasant and perfect songs to listen to while riding on a dark lazy rainy night. We get into town on the heels of rush hour and she drops me off at my hotel and I ascend the stairs and go to bed. Wow, today I was standing in front of Shakespeare’s house. Wow.

My eyes open and it’s still a bit of a bright dull grey outside in London. January not being the most pleasant of months to visit here but my chances look good for a couple of clear days. The rain here for now is not of the continuous kind and it seems to be a steady drizzle in the morning hours and by the time the sun has risen to claim dominance in the sky its power is unleashed upon the clouds and either stops the precipitation from falling or it breaks them up and patches of blue start to appear above.

Today it’s just a bright grey windy sort of day with a bit of a snap on cold in the air as I set off for the interior of London. We head first down towards the National Gallery where some of the most famous paintings in the world are displayed. All the major players are there that are known to even the most plebian of society, Van Gogh, Cezanne, Monet, Degas, Rousseau and others too numerous to list and surely many more that art students and enthusiasts are familiar with. On top of all that it’s free to the public. Much like our own ‘museum row’ we have here in America down in the ‘Mall’ area in Washington DC, treasures like these deserve to be accessed with no hindrance to the public. I feel it’s the obligation of the government to provide such stimulus and inspiration for its citizens. Some of these paintings are just awe-inspiring. We start off with some of the early works which usually deal in religious themes and mythology. I notice that a few are from the 13^th and 14^th century. Crude as they seem by our evolved ability and techniques in painting, the colors are vibrant and I’m sure these were monumental at the time of their making. Gradually it starts to turn to landscapes and portraits and the realism is beginning to sharpen.

I love the gallery because although there’s a security presence in every room of the gallery, you can still get to within a foot or so of the painting. Actually put your nose that close to it! Seeing the paint strokes and the thickness to which the paint dried on the canvas. Fascinating! We start to get towards the 19^th century and it’s here that some of the most iconic works are displayed. There’s Rousseau’s ‘Surprise’, Monet’s ‘Japanese Bridge’ and arguably one of the two most popular and most reproduced paintings in the world; ‘Sunflowers’ by Van Gogh. To have your nose less than 12’’ from this work of art is stunning. I’ve seen some miraculous things in my life and I’d have to rate great works of art right up there with vast vistas of nature I’ve gazed upon. They both have properties that stir the soul and evoke reverence and awe. Van Gogh is probably my favorite painter, mainly because you can see the passion in his paintings, often maniacal in his method of creation but evocative nonetheless. I’ve been to the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam twice, and to this day it’s the only museum I walk out of exhausted. To see such energy like that over and over and over again hanging on display is to experience something electric. If you’re a fan of Van Gogh, you owe it to yourself to at least visit the Van Gogh museum once in your life.

*sigh*, OK, where was I; so since we started late the sun was beginning to set here in London. It gets dark here early and by 4:30 or so it’s noticeable. I’ve told myself I want a good meal at the famous department store, Harrods’, near Piccadilly Square.

Long a tradition in London and one of the most famous and oldest department stores in London, among it’s fine and upscale clothing and accessories in house, there’s a sweets and chocolates department and there’s a ‘food court’ area. The food court is of a spacious design set in this glazed decorative tiled room. I had to wonder as I sat there gazing above at how difficult it must be to keep it so clean, especially the grout. There are a number of counters you sit at and each one is segregated and serves its own unique flavors and subjects. The seafood here, the meats thither, and an oyster bar to name a few. There’s even a meat market where you can either pick out your choice and eat there on the premises or take it home like you’re at a butcher shop. Of course all of this food is of high caliber and price and the setting makes you feel as though you’ve stepped back into time. We sit at the Seafood counter and I order the Sea Bass and greens with a ‘rockets salad’ to start off with. ‘Rockets’ is what we here in the states known as ‘Arugula.’

As I sit waiting for our food and we go in and out of different subjects to converse on, I can’t help but notice the staff manning the counter where we’re sitting, with their certain ‘period’ livery. This woman is actually going down the counter, it’s a bit light with customers at the moment and most seats are open, she’s polishing the silverware and fluted-like glasses that adorn each place setting on the counter. It’s just the epitome of English ways and mannerisms that you see in movies depicting 19^th century gentry. Exquisite. The meal was lovely and my company couldn’t have been better. I then peruse the clothing departments seeing if there’s any stage wear I need and I do find this one cool shirt which I do purchase. Seeing nothing else to interest me inside, my budget can’t handle some of the prices anyway, we start making our way back to my hotel by way of walking.

The night time in London is really special with its own unique way of luminous display. A mix of Victorian and Modern facades on the buildings faces makes for a most interesting viewing to look upon as we make our way through the crowded streets. Arriving at my hotel I bid my host good night and I depart up to my room. It’s been an auspicious first night in London town. I eagerly look forward on the morrow’.[mk_image_slideshow images=”6256,6255,6254,6253″ image_width=”1200″ image_height=”700″ effect=”fade” animation_speed=”700″ slideshow_speed=”5000″ pause_on_hover=”false” smooth_height=”true” direction_nav=”true”]

Making a quick cursory glance around my place I exit and descend the stairs as John and Dustin are waiting for me. “Here’s your pay for the week, I’ll get a receipt later.” We say our goodbyes and I go back inside. We returned home early in the day from the Kilt Tour and fortunately our last gig in Murphy, NC was just a 120 or so miles away, a mere stone’s throw to CDG’s standard of measurement, but it was ‘slow miles’. Meaning that most miles traveled would be back roads, not the interstate.

So I ascend to my place and start to make a more thorough accounting of my accoutrements I shall be requiring for my trip to London, England for R n’ R. A true vacation I’m taking. My flight leaves in the early evening and arrives in the early morning there, being 5 hours ahead of EST in London, I tell myself to try and stay up as long as I can so that I can set my sleep patterns ready for the first night there. I get to the somewhat new International terminal at the Atlanta Airport, which incidentally I like because it’s less crowded and it still retains a bit of its ‘shiny new’ look to it. We board the flight and lamentably the plane is of an older age and my screen is a bit cracked so its response to my finger touch is a bit off but I manage. I’m lucky I have a tiny screen in front of me at all, rather than the archaic and slightly draconian overhead screens that are still employed on some flights. Really?, we’re 15 years into the 21st century and the airlines have been maximizing their profits with negotiated terms with labor unions to hold firm on the wages, lessening the number of flights to fill more seats, over-selling the seating capacity of the flight, reducing(or charging!) for meals, and charging for baggage which has been a huge windfall for the industry, even when their fuel costs fluctuate downward at times, the economic swings are only reflected when prices go up, never down. But hey, I’ve still got a screen so quit yer cryin’. There’s always my trusty book that I bring along.
Plane arrives and Immigration and Customs is easy and the mellifluous sound of the British accent flows into my ears. Lovely sound. I depart Heathrow, now there’s just the heroic London traffic to navigate now.

A few years back I came here with Tomomi, (London is her favorite town by the way) and Celeste for a vacation and I took up driving duties because we were planning on seeing not just Stonehenge and the Magna Carta’s place of residence, but also Scotland as well. Train travel would have been sufficient but we decided to retain a bit of our American culture and shell out the big bucks for an automobile. So I do know a bit about the traffic scene in England and yes, I did make a number of directional mistakes. (So sorry old chap)

After expertly weaving, waiting and crawling through the morning rush hour traffic I arrive at my hotel. A Best Western but it did have a 4-star rating so I was a bit intrigued. I had called earlier before embarking on my trip to arrange for an early check-in due to my exhausted state of overnight travel and time in an airplane and happily the hotel accommodated me. The lobby was a nice but economically sized fare complete with tables and chairs to act as the breakfast room no doubt, and surprisingly I was offered the option of choosing my room. The first shown to me had modern décor inside but it reminded me of hotel in Japan. Although the bed was a queen size, (how befitting), the room was basically a square configuration with approximately two feet of space around the 3 sides of the exposed sides of the bed. A bit comfy but like most contestants in The Price is Right, I opted to see what the second choice had in store. The second room was basically the same but there was an entrance hall with the door to the ‘loo’ to the left and the same aforementioned square arrangement but with a charming little work area and a diminutive closet apparatus. ‘I’ll take this one’, I opted for the second showcase. By this time I was starting to fade, so much for staying up as late as I could, I needed a respite to regain my cheery self so I could start to enjoy the sights and sounds that this grand setting had to offer. I decided to lay down for a quick nap, I needed this rest because I was to start off soon, and the game was afoot!

My return to the upper north side of the Dallas suburbs has been a long one. McKinney, my first time in this area, is on par with the same distance as Denton is although you have to admit Denton does carry more gravitas with musicians because of the illustrious college located there and it’s fine reputation as one of the country’s top music schools. McKinney is standing tall though with the opening of the Guitar Sanctuary. A rather reverent title to give a business but it’s an awesome music store attached to the performance hall there. With high-end custom guitars as well as vintage models on the wall and plenty of couture pedals and effects to pull in the interest and gaze of even the most weary of seekers that have long traveled on their search for the ‘Holy Grail’ of sounds from a single pedal. It was a short perambulation I took while drums were being dialed in the next room but as I heard the bass booming in the room I knew my time to sound check was near so I returned. We ran through a short song and all was fine. We waited for show time. Weather being dismal, plus it’s in the thick of the holiday season; the crowd was light from the elements surrounding this show. Although we had our hardcore fans there, we had a few new ones as well and the old adage comes to mind, ‘If I can reach just one new fan each time…’, so all is not lost. It still goes without saying that I’m going to play the same if not even more intense because with less people around I tend to take more harmonic chances and risks. I get up on stage and I’m a bit chatty with the audience and engage in some jocular back and forth with a few attendees. It’s relaxed and I’m feeling a bit comfortable with my verbal exchanges but I really wanted a good crowd cuz’ I don’t want the club to do badly. They have a business to run too. The show is fine and we get through it just fine and I’m still trying to get denser on ‘Minefield in My Mind’ with the chords I’m working in. My voice is getting better and I try a few that I certainly wouldn’t have been able to sing even three days ago so there are some encouraging things to take away from this performance. I sell between the sets and meet some of the new fans and it’s been an overall good experience for us. I hope they’ll give me another chance here. Can’t ruminate too much on the future; have to focus on the next gig, the last gig of this tour.

The rain is starting to subside but the grey clouds prevent the sun from shining through. We’re pointed east now and heading to Little Rock, Arkansas. It’s Juanita’s tonight. We’ve done this ‘horseshoe’ shaped route with the start in Tulsa continued west through Colorado and New Mexico with the apex being Phoenix then turning back east towards Texas and now here; Arkansas. I’ve got a long history with Juanita’s. We’ve been playing this club since the early 90’s when it was located back off Main Street just south out of the downtown area. Known for its Mexican cuisine and the live music, Juanita’s is the place to play for up and coming acts and established acts that could pull in 250 to 350 people through the door. I had a few good shows here back in my hey-day, but since I’ve been rare in these parts and radio play has been infrequent at best, it’s been a ‘peaks and valleys’ in the attendance range and unfortunately I’ve been in a ‘valley’ here for a while. Now Juanita’s has been moved the past several years into this ‘entertainment’ district that’s popped up in Little Rock along this strip of dance clubs and music venues located on the immediate north side of downtown. Probably an idea and strategy of the city planners to consolidate the entertainment district in one locale for various reasons I’m sure but they’ve done an admirable job to spruce it up and to make it appealing for club hoppers. Juanita’s now has this much expanded ‘hall’ for events and they can now accommodate larger groups, oh say the 500 people now. Although the flipside is if you only get 50 to 75 people at your show, the enormity of the room quickly swallows them up. Plus no booths along the walls and just a few tables of the mobile type are set up and this only lends to a more sparse appearance. *sigh* Opening band in tow with us they do their job and getting a few of their fans out to see us, but it’s still very slow. Bring your ‘tough skin suit’ in the music biz. Show us here the mettle of your pasture (Henry V). Me though I’m ready to see how my voice is doing. It’s been less than a week since I turned the corner from my sinus infection but to deal with the playing every day since the last Friday, I’ve had to still bring out old instrumentals to cover some of the songs I couldn’t sing yet. We start and I’m feeling confident with my voice and it’s not cracking too badly yet. Then near the end of the set I attempt some of the earlier passed over songs from the new album and I’m almost back to 100% but not quite, a lot better than 5 days previous though. Maybe it’s a stroke of good luck that crowds weren’t at capacity so they didn’t have to hear my awful attempts at singing through my sickness. I’ve got a sub-par voice to begin with but I guess in my most charitable of opinions I could call my voice ‘my own’. The tour done and I’ve made it through the hard times with the illness and the shortcomings that it brought with it. Goes without saying I couldn’t have done it without my group giving me the support and strength musically to switch modes and rely more on my instrument rather than sharing the duties between voice and guitar.
Not the way I would have wanted to end the year but sometimes as we get further down the road in life and indicators pop-up now and then to show us our ever approaching limits on mortality, it’s good to know the gumption is still there to be drawn from. From this tour I carry forward in the hopes I can stay healthy and continue to do what I love doing the most; playing on stage in front of people. Just for the opportunity to create and explore in music and emotion so that I can reach people that are open to receive it. The journey I feel is far from over for me and I’ve still got a lot more in me to get out.

Thank you for another wonderful year my fans, to those who came to the shows, those that bought music, those that requested music and to my crew and support group that help keep CDG chugging along. You’ve all made me happy and whole by supporting me in the good times and bad. When all seemed musically hopeless, you all have pulled for me in my emotional struggles to allow me to give you the best.
For that I am truly grateful.
Thank you.
See y’all next year.
chris duarte

Pulling into San Antonio still brings up a collage of memories in my mind, even to this day. There are the obvious changes to the landscape and cityscape that give me pause from time to time but it’s the sense of belonging or not belonging that seeps in me. This trip our hotel was down the street from the last place my family had lived together with our Mom. I discovered it when I went on a grocery run to stock up on fruits and such. Although I didn’t go on the property, which now was gated, I could still see down the drive we lived on. It basically looked the same. After all those years and it’s still the same, well, as same as a look out my window side while cruising by at 30 mph can give you. That being done, it was time to get to load in.

Sam’s Burger’s is a great place. Nice high stage, well laid out room, good PA, another good performance hall. I keep busting the manager’s chops about not having a picture of me on the wall, ‘Come on! Hometown boy isn’t up? Not even a small pic?’ He just shrugs his shoulders and tells me ‘One day’. No opener so it’s just us playing. The crowd isn’t big but it’s respectable for a Tuesday night and so close to Christmas. Some of my old school mates are still showing up and it warms me no end that they continue to support me. Plus my old best friend James called up his family and they showed up, Rita, Lisa and Mrs. Davis. His Mom has remarried but she’ll always be Mrs. Davis to me. It was pretty cool sitting down with them and catching up.

The Blues Society also threw in their support for this gig so I’m real appreciative of them for all they do on my behalf. The show went fine and I’m playing OK. Still I have to reach higher. The battle between desire and ambition rages on.

I was getting sicker and my day off had come to an end and I am not feeling too good about playing tonight. Albeit I am a little better than I was at the Tucson gig but far from 100%. We pull into Ft. Worth and I settle into my room. Finally I capitulate to my condition and growing anxiety and I decide to go to a walk-in clinic. I am on the ACA program but hospitals are still pricey and this wasn’t the most lucrative tour we’ve been on so it’s on to the drive-in of clinics.

I get to the clinic and I’m informed they don’t accept HMO’s, so much for trying to save money, and I surrender to the fees cuz’ I just drove there and what are ya’ going to do? I sit down and proceed to fill out my life history that new patients must endure when going to a healthcare provider. Turns out I have a ‘sinus infection’ and the PA recommends some steroid shots and antibiotics as a tonic and sends me on my way. I gotta admit, I wasn’t too pleased with the clinic not accepting my HMO but in the end they were very professional, courteous and very helpful in genuinely giving me good healthcare. I then admitted to the front desk girl that I was a bit curt to about the billing policies but I told her I was glad I came. She smiled and so did I. After a few hours I was ready to go. First time taking steroids in my life and Wow, ‘Here I come to save the day….’ I felt normal.

My vocal abilities were still a bit stifled and not-all-there but I wasn’t feeling sick either. Turned out that Rusty Burns was opening up the show at Keys Lounge. Rusty is one of the founding members of Point Blank. Point Blank! I saw them in San Antonio back in the seventies and they were the headliner. I was excited to meet Rusty to tell him I saw them back in the day. Rusty was great. He had a really nice touch on the guitar and great tone. He’s the real deal alright. We had fun this night but I think it was because I was just thrilled to be feeling almost normal again. Things were looking up.

On to Houston; not my favorite drive in Texas; Dallas to Houston via I-45. Just uninspiring scenery. There is the big statue of Sam Houston and the prison, where Texas proudly boasts about their ‘busy’ schedule. Other than that it’s just not my fave. We have to get in early cuz’ we’ve got an in-store at Cactus Records starting at 3 pm. I’ve played this event several times so I know the drill. Everybody on staff is cool and takes good care of us. When it’s time to start I’m taken with how many people have showed up for our truncated show. I announce if there’s a Cadillac give-away that I’m not aware of cuz’ this is a good looking crowd. We pull off the show with aplomb and energy and the crowd seemed happy.  So we pack up our scaled down wares and it’s onto Dan Electro’s. We load in, get our levels checked and we’re ready to go. This club has always been good to us and I’ve played here many times through the years and it’s only gotten better. This night I feel it was my best musical night of the tour. Everything seemed to be going my way; the tone, I could hear the amp’s colors, my ideas were flowing without too much trouble, and the group was hitting good. Why can’t I sound like this every night?

The short drive to Austin is one that’s been done many times by me. Really there are two ways you can choose to get to the Texas capitol, with negligible time differences, I choose the southern approach; by way of I-10 and Texas 71. It’s the Roost that we play at tonight this Sunday evening. David Cotton’s dream of having a club and he’s done quite well to assemble a top-notch venue. Dave and I have known each other for well over 20 years. The club had a professional audio planning on the inside, acoustically constructed. Not just your ‘got a building and we’ll set the stage down here and then point the PA this way and the tables and chairs,  no this one was thought out. Sounds great on stage and the seats all have unobstructed views; A real performance venue.  The place is great but I’m not feeling it in my playing tonight. I think I’m forcing myself this time instead of letting it flow. I’m still not at 100% with my voice and I have started to lay out a disclaimer at the beginning of my shows, ‘diagnosed with sinus infection, we’re going to be playing a bit more instrumentals and yada…’, this does offer me a bit of space to play around and try new things but still it’s just not clicking for me like last night. Yes the pattern here is that I’m still extremely critical on myself every night and don’t try to assuage me otherwise. It’s my M.O. and its part of my ambition’s fuel. I always think I can do better.

The Gulf of Mexico is nice this time of year. Corpus Christi has long been a part of my musical history. The venue is an outside stage and it’s unusually muggy this night. We’ve got 2 bands in front of us and each one is really playing well. I enjoy listening to both. The way I’ve always seen it is the opening band is supposed to come out and give it their all so as to inspire the main acts or the proceeding bands to ‘bring-it’ and continue the upward trajectory in quality of performance. The crowd is light but it is a Monday night and people are in the pre-Christmas/Holiday mode so it’s understandable that some decide to stay at home. Heck that’s what I’d do.  I’ve had some pretty memorable shows to tables and chairs so my spirit isn’t dampened in the slightest. Our show begins and here comes the sweat from being outside in the muggy conditions. Rolling and rocking we attack the songs and do our best to grab the audience. The sweat drips off me and in my immediate area where I stand on stage there’s a speckled appearance from the abundance of perspiration that I produce in such conditions. I don’t know why I sweat so much. I just do and I always have. The show done, I change out of my gig clothes, everything is wet except my shoes, we pack up and drive to San Antonio. On the drive through the night I look at the various refineries that are down there, how eerie and industrial the damp coastal air makes them appear, kind of like a scene out of the movie ‘Bladerunner’ when a cityscape is shown, and with its fire from the Gas Flares that are visible from miles around in the night time, they only lend a more ominous look to what might foreshadows a dystopian future that science fiction and literary books have written about. How evocative.

Roanoke oh Roanoke, a city of cozy size but with an obvious sophistication. Over the years they’ve revitalized the downtown Market area and you can’t miss the Virginia Museum of Transportation with its spaceship rocket and steam locomotive displayed outside and the town’s newspaper building, the Roanoke Times, across the street in a modern looking building where you can see the massive printing presses that print the news that fit to print. It reminds me of the micro-breweries you see where the brew kettles and fermentation tanks are on display. The visual combination of both places made more dramatic when you come into town over the 2nd Street bridge as if you’re flying into the downtown area on a gentle descent. But my thoughts now turn to Martin’s and the gig we have tonight.

A new venue for us here in Roanoke. With ‘Bar and Grill’ as part of its name, the place is nice and also carries a modern hard floors, windows and dark hues appearance inside. The stage is a small but ample enough for a power trio, tucked away in the back on the right side facing down the length of the bar situated on the same side. We do our usual routine when time affords; Set-up, eat and return to hotel to ‘primp’ ourselves for the stage. My Stewart of Atholl Kilt is up for this one. I’m afraid I have to correct myself here. It seems I erroneously wrote that the Stewart kilt made the debut appearance on this tour but it was in fact my Edinburgh kilt that I wore at Ram’s Head. I picked the Edinburgh because it was the first one I bought many years ago from a shop of the same name, Edinburgh Castle, in Salt Lake City. I can assure you they are not cheap. For the record, mine are the full on heavyweight, handmade in Scotland ones. Anyhoo, With the Stewart donning the stage tonight we are a bit late starting up but the crowd seems a bit light and insouciant but we’re going see if we can turn some heads our way. We start up and I’m sure we’re going to get the ‘turn down’ gesture from the sound guy or manager but none is forthcoming. I have to admit, I’m still a bit on the aggressive side when it comes to volume but nowhere near what I used to be a few years back with my ‘Wall O’ Sound’ set-up of 4 amps that I lugged in and erected no matter the size of the venue be it vast or diminutive. I played as with a ‘monarch’s voice’. I’m not hearing myself as good as last night but nothing new, I’ve played under worse conditions and this isn’t so bad. The highlight of the night comes when we get into ‘Screenwriter’s Blues’ aka; The L.A. song, and with the audience being mostly young college age, the dancers rhythms and motions are making me drive the groove harder with the guitar and vocal cadence. When we come to the last chorus where I build up the tag line with punctuated L.A. references and the guitar rhythm goes from lazy 1/4 notes to staccato 8th notes the crowd starts jumping up n’ down with hands in the air and screaming from some and hips and heads bobbing and weaving it was just so intoxicating, like a mini Rage Against the Machine crowd pulsing with us. Big Fun!

Used to be back in the day I would never write out set lists cuz’ I used to try and gauge the audience and tap into the mood and let that ‘vibe’ guide me on what to play. Now that my mind is addled by age I’ve been following a script now, which does avoid my momentary lapses I was starting to experience between songs that were getting longer I’m afraid, but a script does have its advantages not to be missed. I can always call an ‘audible’ here and there if I feel a mood amongst the crowd becomes overwhelming but for the most part I’m on the page. Still, to have those times where the audience is in a frenzy and everything is heightened and the energy just takes over are more of the moments I aspire towards.

Thank you Roanoke, you’ve made me a happy man.

‘Could you roll up that extension cord like a guitar cord please? When you roll it like that it starts to get twisted up. Thanks.’ That’s me giving Dustin some instruction on the long extension cords I bring along to help my van start up on these extremely cold nights of single digit temps.

Our night in Dover, or to be more precise Magnolia, is always a fun spot. Jonathan’s Landing is an interesting place cuz’ its owner and manager Craig has been having bands play in the back functions room for a while now and it’s quite unique to pull up to a golf course clubhouse and load in and play. Not my first time at a golf course but this one is a venue for night time events on a regular basis and that’s the unique part. We have always had fun here. With ample room for people to sit and an upstairs as well, the only part we have to slightly endure is the puffy almost billowy rug we set up on. With the varying thickness and plushness it does present some minor adjustments for John and his drums but my stuff isn’t too bad. The claim is that is soaks up a lot of sound and I’m not going to argue with the boss man. I’m just happy to be there.

The second night of the Kilt Tour is commencing and it’s now my Ulster Kilt that I wear tonight. I wear this cuz’ my younger sister Stephanie will be in attendance and we’re actually related to this Kilt. My mother’s side of the family has relatives that came to the states from Ireland in the Ulster province. The Tom family, so with family here I pick this kilt.

I’m feeling so much better in the fingers and mind department and I feel the rust is starting to break apart. We open with our three songs from the latest release and it’s obvious to me that I’m going to be fine tonight. Plus I’m hearing myself really good and that only inspires me to stretch for things that I can only hear in my head. Not pre-set patterns that are ready in the slips to come out, but new patterns that come to me microseconds before and then I process it and let it fly. I can’t explain the feeling that comes over me when it all works in this fashion. Overwhelming confidence and gratification flushes through me. Is this what Ambrosia tastes like? The night continues and I just keep attempting more maddening heights and complex rhythms and phrasing. This is how I get better; keep trying new things and pushing myself to dig deeper.

I may not make a lot of money doing this but boy am I grateful for the opportunity to play and ply my craft. The icing on the cake is that my fans and people coming in for the first time are making the effort to get out and see me attempt to create and work.

I live for this!

*photos courtesy of David Wolanski

Jan. 7^th – Ram’s Head, Annapolis, MD

Like I’ve stated before, I’m not too keen on first gigs of a tour when I’ve had time-off for more than a couple of weeks. The physical nature of my playing takes a bit of acclimating. My fingers, recalcitrant in their ways brought on due to the aforementioned downtime, slowly wake up as the gig progresses. Usually around the few last songs, but I was not deterred because we were finally back at the Ram’s Head. A venue I enjoy immensely and a locale I have had memorable shows at, plus my fans always turn out at this venue because of its fine ambiance and listener participation with being ramped up for the frenzy moments and reverent in the delicate moments. If I were to perform one of my few classical pieces that I still retain in my personal musical repertoire, it would be at the Ram’s Head.

The Stewart tartan christens this Kilt Tour, (the orange and green one), the first of a few kilt tours I plan on doing this year. With my newly acquired ‘flashes’ that adorn my knee socks for an added ‘zest’ to the ensemble, we hit the stage. My fingers not all there but my attitude and ambition is winning the day for me. The audience tonight is of more than a respectable size for so soon after the holidays and New Year’s. One would have expected most to go into a financial and agora-like hibernation what with all the activities that attend the preceding holiday season. Me and my group cut through the songs and strive for our strong tour weathered equilibrium we’ve cultivated after our 1 year plus of being together. As I predicted I start to come alive in the last few songs of our set but it’s our energy and attitude that has won the battle and we conclude on a high note.

I meet with my fans that have stayed the course to the end of the night and it warms me to no end their continued interest and efforts to come to my shows. No matter what the conditions might be, they are still there. This year is starting off well.